ex-genius

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The Times published the strangest goddamn weather forecast I’ve ever read today. It’s like they outsources their meteorology go Garrison Keillor. I think they have a nitrous oxide leak or something over there. 


The ideal city snowstorm, meteorological Platonists say, blankets the landscape without burying it, beautifies but does not burden, transforms and cocoons without paralyzing or even particularly inconveniencing.
Such an event is expected to come our way on Saturday.
Flakes should begin falling around 11 a.m., as a low pressure system passes south and east of the metropolitan area, giving children plenty of time to finish a hearty breakfast.
The temperature will hover in the mid-30s – just cold enough for the snow to safely stick, but no colder. The breeze will be sufficient to make cheeks rosy, but will not slash at the skin or penetrate down the necks of parkas.
For the better part of the day, the snow will continue – gently, never blinding. By the time it ceases for good shortly before midnight, two to four inches will have fallen – just enough, perhaps, to permit sledding.
“Definitely snowfall that can be plowed,” said Dan Hoffman, a National Weather Service meteorologist, “but definitely not crippling by any means.”


The article concludes with a picture of the Ballet, with the caption “the snow should be perfect for dancing. I’m serious. 

The Times published the strangest goddamn weather forecast I’ve ever read today. It’s like they outsources their meteorology go Garrison Keillor. I think they have a nitrous oxide leak or something over there. 

The ideal city snowstorm, meteorological Platonists say, blankets the landscape without burying it, beautifies but does not burden, transforms and cocoons without paralyzing or even particularly inconveniencing.

Such an event is expected to come our way on Saturday.

Flakes should begin falling around 11 a.m., as a low pressure system passes south and east of the metropolitan area, giving children plenty of time to finish a hearty breakfast.

The temperature will hover in the mid-30s – just cold enough for the snow to safely stick, but no colder. The breeze will be sufficient to make cheeks rosy, but will not slash at the skin or penetrate down the necks of parkas.

For the better part of the day, the snow will continue – gently, never blinding. By the time it ceases for good shortly before midnight, two to four inches will have fallen – just enough, perhaps, to permit sledding.

“Definitely snowfall that can be plowed,” said Dan Hoffman, a National Weather Service meteorologist, “but definitely not crippling by any means.”

The article concludes with a picture of the Ballet, with the caption “the snow should be perfect for dancing. I’m serious. 



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  3. indiemaiden reblogged this from marmite and added:
    I’m so into this.
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  5. vanillaandlavender reblogged this from xqueenwitchx and added:
    yo this is sexy
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  11. helios-venerari said: Oh my god, this makes me want to puke blood.
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  13. longeaux said: I read this in Garrison Keillor’s voice so it took 10 minutes
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